Saturday, November 21, 2009

The End of the World...(and I feel fine)

The kids at school are all talking about the rumor that the world is coming to an end in 2012. I'm not worried because this job has me SO ready to sleep for a really long time. But then yesterday morning a kid walked into my class mumbling, "I don't want the world to end." I decided to ignore his comment, because after all, who am I to reassure him that it won't? I really don't know. And I refuse to be one of those adults that lie to children to make themselves feel better, or to avoid deep thought.

I did talk to my class about the origin of the rumor, but that was some fact-based information (totally within my jurisdiction) about the Mayan calendar...blah, blah. Personally, I don't worry about this kind of crap. It reminds me of the "Y2K scare". Some people were really freaked out. Then....dun dun dun...(-insert ominous sounding music here-), nothing happened. What's that you say? That's right, N-O-T-H-I-N-G happened. I got a laugh out of that, I'll admit.

I had to search to re-find one of my all-time favorite reasons for the internet. A few years ago someone sent me this animation called End of the World and I laughed over it for months, and showed it to all my friends. Unfortunately, some of those friends and I are not as close because if they didn't laugh at this I had to wonder why I was friends with them in the first place. My pal Shmange and I had a few good laughs over it. So, click on the link (underlined "End of the World" above) and enjoy, I hope (Parental Discretion Advised for Strong Language, Reg). And if you don't get it, WTF, mate?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

8 Minutes


8 Minutes. My pal Jenny-Mac figured out that this is how much time the teachers at our school have to plan each lesson we teach for a day of elementary school. (On average I teach 6 lessons a day.) But I don't take 8 minutes, I do what it takes, which is much more than 8 minutes. What that means, however, is that I regularly work 10-11 hour days. I get paid for 7 hours. I don't get bonuses or comp time, or even a free cup of coffee in the morning. Why do I do it? I want the students to have the best I can possibly offer...and I really like working with kids. They are crazy.

Recently I got a cryptic hand-written note in my classroom mailbox from a kid. It looked kind of like this (wishing I had a scanner!):

"Thre was a flyd in th pllens"

When I first read this scrawl from the 8-year-old I thought it said, "There was a fly on the lens". I figured he was explaining why most of my students were distracted at the end of the day when their homework was listed on the overhead projector (thus the "lens" part). I showed this note to my colleague Donna, knowing that her 40 years of teaching experience makes her a master code-breaker. I knew that she could confirm or refute my attempt at decoding. I handed her the note and, without missing a beat she said, "Oh...there was a flood in the Philippines".

Yes, that was it! Turns out the boy has family in the Philippines and wanted to make sure I knew about the recent flood there.

The best part about this kid is that he always has a smile on his face and is an easy target for my juvenile antics in the classroom. And to top it off, just the other day I realized who he reminds me of. Seriously. He is Bill from the series "King of the Hill"! (but without the beer in his hand and the hair on his chest, I presume) He has similar mannerisms, speech patterns, and a general "happy-go-lucky" demeanor.

Sometimes, when I'm having a rough time of it, I just look at "Bill" and remember that it's all gonna work out fine.

After all, I've only got 8 minutes per lesson to save the world (even though that's twice what Madonna and Justin had).