From the Mouths of Babes

Here are some excerpts from the recent stories of 5th graders:

"The big dinosaur was a fossil, but it didn't die. It lost its soul."

"The only way he can hypnotize humans is he spits goop on human heads."

"You can get this for 6 payments of $10.99, that's right, 6 payments of $10.99."

"So they took as many pictures as they could. Then they went home satisfied."

"My favorite food is my mom's enchiladas. My favorite shape is a pyramid."

"Everyone asked for mercy but he never listened. The mountain king was the biggest and baddest mountain in the world!"

"All of a sudden Wall-E characters came alive, and then mass chaos happened."

"My favorite food is pizza, but that doesn't start with a K."

"So then they sold it to a person for $6,000 and the judges gave the money to me. And so I lived happily ever after with lots of money!"

And finally, this was written at the end of a student's story:
"I am sorry I ended there, but it would be very disturbing for your human mind!"

Indeed.

Thanks, kids. You are the reason we keep treading water in a sea of sharks.